Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Day 19: The dread of morning pages

Last night it happened. I was making plans for the next day when a little voice in my head said, "Ugh, it's just another day that I'm gonna have to do morning pages."

It begins. 

I don't want to begrudge my choice to do these morning pages. Is this what newlyweds feel after the honeymoon is over? Ugh, I have to wake up to this every morning?

Oh dear.

But I'm here now. I did my morning pages. And when I look at the right hand column under the archive, I feel good that I have all those numbers in a row. Clearly, I'm being taught a lesson about commitment. Blessed are the men I dated who couldn't commit. It wasn't you. It was me. But thanks for letting me hide behind your commitment issues.

Where is this going?

Beats me. But let's read on and find out together. I recall the first time I did the Artist's Way course and started writing morning pages. I was living in Toronto and working at Leo Burnett Advertising. I did my morning pages in the coffee shop below the office. Inside those pages I wondered where my life would take me. And on the wings of writing my morning pages it took me to California, to two wonderful books, to a guitar that I love, to varied and wonderful levels of love, to becoming a painter that actually sells paintings to actual people. And now to a blogger that has readers she doesn't even know. Thank you for stopping by.

You're welcome. 

So I guess this means I'll hang in there and plug away at these pages, knowing that something beautiful will come out of the murkiness, that something bigger than me is transpiring, that all I need to do is show up.


3 comments:

  1. You are a crack up and I hope that even when you're done with your morning page adventure, you will continue with this blog.

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  2. Just showing up is half the battle! Thanks for showing up.

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  3. Love the comments about comittment. Thanks for sharing what the morning pages have done for you in the past. You have readers waiting with bated breath about what is going to happen next.

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