Friday, March 12, 2010

Day 70: I'm stuck in my beach chair and I can't get out

After one day in Maui, I don't know how anyone lives anywhere else.

This place makes you want to change your return flight and stay a few extra days. It makes you want to look into local real estate. I'd even look into a timeshare if I could peel myself off my beach chair. Can't someone else go see the timeshare? Just tell me what I owe.

I'd take on some island adventures, too, if I could get off my beach chair.

This morning, prior to sitting in this beach chair that I can't get out of, I went to the local grocery store to fetch bottled water that isn't outrageously priced like it is at my resort.
It's the new age drinks that are particularly effective. That and the rum.

Good thing I came to Maui when I did since a big ol' celebrity is coming:
So it's a good thing I left my Ganesh necklace at home. I opted for my Saint Christopher's medallion instead as he's the patron saint of traveling. Yep, I revert back to being Catholic when I travel. Even now, when I'm traveling with three Jewish ladies. (There is a lot of luggage and culinary requirements even beyond my veganism.)

Another thing I did before I landed in my beach chair never to rise again was snorkel. Once one puts those goggles on to see what is really swimming below is the moment one realizes that if one continues swimming with the goggles, the chances of seeing something that will freak one's shit out will increase significantly. It didn't take me long to stop swimming with goggles. Ignorance is bliss.

Now my pina colada-marinated brain has landed in this beach chair at this poolside bar all Magnum P.I.-style and I don't know how I'll ever go back to my regularly scheduled life. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll be like Rip Van Winkle who fell asleep under a tree for a twenty years, but instead of falling asleep under a tree, I'll be sucking back booze in my beach chair.



  1. Ah, the beach chair. A simple device, yet deceptively cunning at getting you to sit on yerass. I think this little vacation is just what the doctor ordered, what with Jesus coming and all. Enjoy every minute of it.

  2. You lucky girl. Say hi to Wayne Dyer for me... :P

  3. I am so jealous of you and your god damn beach chair! I'm the opnly teacher in Ontario that is not on a beach right now as it is March Break. Next year I will vacation with you at a fabulous sunny spot. How about it, a rendez-vous iin a year in Cuba or something like that!


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