Last night I was writing my morning pages at midnight because I didn't make it a priority in my day. I booked myself from 7:30AM (coffee with friends) to midnight (dinner and drinks with friends) with work and a conference call for this amazing tele-class I'm taking in the middle of the day.
I was tired, spent and a little tipsy. I did not want to do my morning pages. But more than that, I didn't want to fess up on this blog that I hadn't done them. So I guess that is what ultimately motivates me to keep writing and blogging. Writing beats not writing.
Plus, I'm motivated by the possibility that this project will change my life in a big, beautiful way. And that is better than the alternative. I know what the alternative is. I've lived it up until this point. It's fine. But I'm here to play big.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”So ya. That's why I do it.
-- by Marianne Williamson
Plus, Zen master Shunryu Suzuki Roshi said that enlightenment was following one thing all the way to the end and that's what I intend to do. Because I said I would. I want to be a woman of my word. One page/day/blog post at a time.