So today I was going through a little monologue in my head called "What is my life's purpose." It's a pretty regular internal strife I put myself through whenever I'm not fully engaged in whatever work I'm doing.
And I'm not fully engaged today because I was criticized. Yes. A client actually didn't like what I wrote. How dare they. I usually don't get this feedback, which could explain why I felt paralyzed and started second guessing my life's work.
So I went to Guru #1 for answers: Ilham. He's a friend who has been at his job for seven years, which is like dog years to any person who works in the creative department of an advertising agency. I think this guy is the coolest cat ever, which is why I painted him:
- Don't complain.
- Be grateful.
- Don't always look up for what is better out there.
- Look down to see those who don't have it so good. It could always be worse.
So, I moved to Guru #2:
Michael Bernard Beckwith.
I went to the gym, hopped on a bike and popped in my earphones to listen to his guided meditation about figuring out my life's purpose. Rather than ponder what my life purpose is, Mr. Beckwith posed the question this way:
What is God's idea of Itself as me?
God as Itself sure as shit wouldn't be working this freak show.
(Truth be told I like my job... but I go into hypersensitivity when faced with criticism... ugh... being creative is a process)
What followed in my guided meditation (at this point I was off the bike and doing yoga stretches... two birds, I say) was the idea of throwing out tiny seeds of possibility. Email one person here and one person there. Tell one person about this. Tell one person about that. Mention something here and take a trip there. Tiny ity bity little movements that inch myself toward a life that is a bit more me than the one I am currently living.
Then let the seeds fall where they may. Let God take care of the rest.
Let's see how it goes, shall we?