And it was all because of a dream I had last night.
It was a delicious dream about someone from my past who is the kind of guy that turns a girl into a pretzel just by standing in the doorway. The kind of guy that doesn't even take your heart. You just hand it to him even though he never earned it. The kind of guy that made me feel like this:
The dream was about how he'd found love and was going to have babies with this new lady. He said I'm too dreamy and can't settle down.
I screamed. "I'm not too dreamy! I can settle down! I am that girl!"
I woke up with a start. I looked beside me at my sleeping 4 year old niece. Then I went into the living room to pick up my 5 month old niece. She needed her diaper changed. As I changed her dirty diaper, my sleepy mind was still saying, "I'm not too dreamy. I can settle down. I'm that girl."
The truth is that in waking life, I'm not that girl for him. I never was. I never will be. It wasn't a love affair then nor can it be now. After all, the one that doesn't pass you is the one that's meant for you and he definitely passed me. Still, it felt so real in the dream and it got me all flustered.
There are people that come into your life to turn it upside down. If they stuck around, you'd be upside down forever and that's no way to live life. More of this is explained by Richard in Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert:
"A true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever. Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it."Speaking of, check out the Eat Pray Love trailer:
"I am so sick of people telling me I need a man."
"You don't need a man, Liz. You need a champion."