Thursday, July 1, 2010

Day 181: Grumbling toward ecstasy

Since I started my hard core grumbling about life, I've had a slew feedback from y'all.

Seems I'm not the only one out there who is grumbling and trying to dream her dream life into being. Seems I'm not the only one that is teetering between wanting for more and beating myself up for not being as grateful as I think I should be for what I have.

Why all the grumbling?

Is grumbling about my life better than failing at my dream?

Ugh, that's a scary thought.

No. I shake my head no. Absolutely not.

When I'm flustered and can't figure something out, I pull out the big guns. I write myself a letter from....

God Himself.

Yep. In my morning pages, I write:


Then I hover my pen over the page wait for a response. A voice that is my voice but not my voice comes through. The voice is always calm, wise and loving. Today's the voice was no different. I was explained in a calm handwriting that when I was in Rome, I had asked for the best version of my life. Now I'm back to my regularly scheduled life that isn't, in fact, the best version of my life. If it was the best version of my life, I wouldn't be asking for it, would I? Now that I've had glimpses of what the best version of my life can be, I can make arrangements to make it happen.

Then the letter ended with "Let yourself go!" 

God. He really knows what he's doing.  I highly recommend letting Him write some of your morning pages. He's good.

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