Monday, July 12, 2010

Day 190: Designated Facebook Crush

You know you have one.

The designated Facebook crush is the one person whose name you scour in the Top News on your Facebook page daily. The one whose profile you visit more often than you would ever admit. The one who you wish would "Poke" you.

You salivate when you see he's posted photos. You see that he put a Baby Manatee up for adoption in Happy Aquarium. You see that he offed a family of five in Mafia Wars. You delight to discover he is the mayor of Whole Foods on Rose & Lincoln in Four Square. How wonderful and satisfying it is to see these rather banal glimpses into the life of your designated Facebook crush.

Then there is the person who posts too many YouTube videos on the wall of your designated Facebook crush. You start to wonder who this person is that also happens to leave too many comments. You find this mysterious person a bit too enthusiastic. You, yourself, are an occasional commenter. Enough to be top of mind but not enough to arouse suspicion that you are the Facebook stalker that you actually are.

The designated Facebook crush relationship is innocent enough. This person is simply your daily candy. It's harmless really. After all, this is a public forum and this person did accept your friendship request, which happened to be (unbeknownst to them) the best day of your life.

Facebook makes Internet stalking so much easier. You are saved from having to scour through 36 pages of Google search results. Thanks Facebook. You're a real time saver.


  1. Great blog today! The video is priceless.

  2. The video would be funny if it weren't so disturbing.

  3. My Facebook crush is on a gay man. :)

    I hope you don't think I'm a blog stalker because I comment so much. Can we just file that under "chatterbox" instead?

  4. this is awesome Janice. I have no Facebook crush... i'm feeling left out now. I think i need to get one!


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