Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Day 202: How a breakup can improve office life

I fancy myself a breakup expert. After all, I did write the book...

Shameless plug.
Buy it here

So when I read this article on Forbes.com, How to Work With Someone After a Breakup by Helen Coster, I felt I had a few things to add. Coster says to keep your emotions compartmentalized, to not give your colleagues anything to gossip about and to praise your ex in public. "It will help you behave and feel better around him or her, and it will put other people at ease."

But, I think we're missing out on some gains here. I think office life for your coworkers can be improved from 9 to 5 because of your failed after-hours rendezvous. 

How to improve office life after your failed office romance:
  1. Kiss other coworkers in high-traffic areas like the kitchen, elevator and lobby. Everyone knows you're single now and kissing is proven to raise serotonin levels.
  2. Write scathing emails on company time to your friends and your ex. Nothing is sacred in the office, especially emails. The IT guys get bored and having something fun to read will entertain them in the office. A satisfied IT professional is less likely to move onto another company. High turnover rates cost companies thousands, making a severe impact on the bottom line.You don't want that to happen all because of your failed relationship, do you?
  3. Go out of your way to work on projects with your ex. Be especially condescending in meetings. Tears help, too. With reality show addiction on the rise, your coworkers need a fix between episodes to stay relaxed and keep concentration at optimal levels in the office. 
To all the CEOs out there, you're welcome. 


2 comments:

  1. Hahaha! I love it.

    Not sure if you knew this, but when you and I worked together years ago I was secretly dating the Copy Supervisor (No, not Frank).

    I could have used this post for a good laugh after our many breakups (and breakdowns) as colleagues.

    And btw, I still have my signed copy of The Breakup Repair Kit. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Please don't let anyone tell you that sarcasm isn't a gift from God.

    ReplyDelete

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