Friday, August 13, 2010

Day 222: Boredom is an emotion

I wouldn't say I'm an emotional eater.

When people lament about emotional eating, I zone out. Don't really understand.

Crying is more my thing when life isn't going my way. Like today in the kitchen at the office, when my boss asked, "How are you?" and I said, "Fine." Then the moment she left the kitchen I cried. Quick cry. Dry tears pronto, so as to not be found out. It's just that the pressure of deadlines is getting to me and when the pressure gets to be too much, it seeps out my eyeballs.

As you may have read in yesterday's post, I'm living in a sugar free zone for the next six weeks.

Today I noticed when I wanted sugar... late afternoon here at the ol' office. In my company, there are sugary treats at reception, in the kitchen, in Accounts, in Production. Everywhere except the Creative department where I sit. Thank God for that.

I've sequestered myself inside my office area and have avoided roaming.

But I was tempted late this afternoon. Not because I needed an energy pick-up. I'd already had tea. But because my brain is tired and it's close, but not close enough, to the end of the day.

And even though I have a pile of folders to work my way through, I'm bored.
Overwhelmed and bored. A deadly combination. 

Bored out of my gourd.

When I was a kid, saying I was bored was followed by, "I'll give you something to do" by my dad, who would immediately put me to work. Our house was super high maintenance so there was always something to sweep, pile, wash, trim or organize. Saying you were bored had big consequences.

My pits are a little sweaty just typing to you that I'm bored. Afraid you'll put me to work.

I'm so very bored.

Bored of the work and of the grind and of my life here in the most perfect California in the most fortunate US of A.

Bored out of my mind bored.

So, in order to avoid these thoughts, I normally go on a chocolate hunt around the office. I don't have to look far. It's everywhere. Just an hour ago an email went out alerting the office that there is fruit and ice cream in the kitchen. I could have went for the fruit but I know myself. I'd a tossed a dollop of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough on top.

Maybe I should have an office romance just to keep it interesting. Run off to some cubicle for smooches in order to avoid the candy jar at reception.

Nah. Relief from boredom is not exactly a stellar reason to start up a steamy romance.

Dear reader, pah-lease do not give me a list of ideas on ways to not be bored. I'll reply weakly, "Ya, good idea. Thanks."And please don't offer to hang out and cheer me up because today, that feels like just another thing to do. I don't want you to feel like another thing to do.

Now I'm at the place where I'm just letting boredom take over. Seep into my pores. It doesn't seem to want to leave so it might as well get done what it came to do. Ravage me. Take me. Do what you will to me. I've got no fight left. Boredom, become me.

But don't tell my dad.


5 comments:

  1. Funny. Laughed out loud remembering the look of amazement we gave to each other when someone dared to say that word when dad was around. I still can't say it to him.

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  2. Jan, just go sweep the shop. After you are done could you get me a bowl of ice cream.

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  3. Janice, you're in love with the 'idea' of that dude in crutches .

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  4. I hate the work tears. They usually hit me at my desk.

    I like the acceptance of your boredom. Very zen approach. Good work. And really, really impressive work avoiding the candy. You have a lot more willpower than I.

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  5. I have a problem with leaky eyes at work as well. You know, your sister once told me that she could breathe through her eyeballs. A little off topic, I know, but still...that one had me for years.

    My mom says the sugar cravings are just the Belgian in us. Don't worry about it! It's genetic.

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