Monday, September 13, 2010

Day 252: My favorite undertaker

When I was a kid and was watching TV with my mom, if there was a scene that was too grown up for my little eyes and ears, my mom would make me sit in the kitchen until the scene was over.

No love making scene, no domestic abuse scene or any scenes that were nudie in nature.

I was in my own Cinema Paradiso.

If you've never seen Cinema Paradiso, IMDB says, "A filmmaker recalls his childhood, when he fell in love with the movies at his village's theater and formed a deep friendship with the theater's projectionist."
I grabbed this photo from this blog, which tells the story beautifully.

In this town, the priest has the projectionist edit out all the juicy bits of the films before they were shown in the town. No boobies, no kisses. Imagine watching a film and then right as the man is about to kiss the woman POOF! Next scene. Madness, I tell you, madness.

Back to me.

Even now, when I watch a movie in the living room and it gets to scary or violent, I edit it down by going to sit in the kitchen for awhile. After a minute or two, I poke my head around the corner to the living room and check to see when the scene is over. I call ahead, "Is the scary bit done? What happened?" and whoever is in the living room will report back, "Ya, it's done... the guy hit her then passed out on the bed. Then she burned the bed with him in it. You can come back now."

You could say I'm a bit of a lightweight when it comes to dark subjects.

You'd likely think it was strange that one of my favorite blogs is about the life of an undertaker.

An undertaker? 

Yep. As she says, an underground furniture salesman.

An undertaker that's a girl?!?!

I know. Awesome.

So her blog is great. I learn about the secret life of undertakers but all in a way that doesn't make me have to sit in the kitchen until the bad parts are over.

Anyway, yesterday I clicked on her blog and POOF! It was gone.

Turns out her blog got around to another undertaker who apparently didn't like certain phrases like "money hungry owners" and "push to sell merchandise." This dork face undertaker started sending out lame emails about her blog to others in the undertaker underground.

What a jackass.

I know!

So she took down the blog and is now likely plotting her revenge.

Now I'm going through my own mini grief period, missing my blog about embalming and body parts.

I'm insensed by this dumb dumb stupid undertaker who can't even ponder why someone would say such things about him. Dork face creep. He clearly did not think of MY NEEDS when he tried to muscle her out of the Cool Kids Undertaker Society.

I hardly know what to do with myself.

I need to go sit in the kitchen.


  1. I was wondering where her blog went - that totally sucks. Maybe she could sell that guy some underground furniture if you get my continental drift.

  2. Wow. Some people. I hope she starts up elsewhere and you're able to come out of the kitchen soon.

  3. I read her blog after yours and was disappointed that it was shut down...what a loss for us who enjoy her wit & writing style (someone who tells it like it is)...even though I don't comment on each post...
    I love your sense of humor & way of looking at the world!
    Mahalo Nui,

  4. Plotting my revenge????
    An understatement :)

    I'm humbled by this post and your comments.
    Stay tuned my blog friends...enjoy a coffee while anundertakersdiaries is under construction.

  5. Leialoha-- Glad to hear you like our blogs. I hope the undertaker starts up again soon.

    Undertaker-- Please start again soon!

    Mel-- Made it out of the kitchen, but while I was in there I was sharpening knives. (Insert sinister laugh here)


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