I remember being excited about the new Robin Hood movie starring Russell Crowe, but then it arrived in theaters with little fan fair and soon it was gone.
Now I know why.
It's a tale of how Robin Hood became Robin Hood. I thought I'd want to know how Robin Hood became Robin Hood but it turns out, nah not really. Bat Man? Yes, please. Darth Vader? You betcha. But somehow Robin Hood? Ehhhh, I'll pass.
The entire movie (and I'm not ruining anything that wasn't already ruined) is reminiscent of that boring bit in The Two Towers, the second film in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. You know the one. Long and loud desensitizing battle scenes. Hey Ridley Scott. You did this already. It was called Gladiator.
Ya so kill another guy with your sword. Big deal. Chop off a head? Whatevs.
I was on a plane watching Russell Crowe version of Robin Hood. The guy next to me was also watching it and he shut it off half way through to watch Two and a Half Men!
Some films should not be remade. More on this here.
Robin Hood starring Russell Crowe vs. Robin Hood starring Kevin Costner
Kevin Costner vs. Russell Crowe: Honestly, it's a toss up. I'd probably go with Crowe but in this case, it's Kevin Costner. I can't believe I said that but it's true. And I love the Crowe. Loved.
Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio vs Cate Blanchett: Again, I'd probably go with Cate normally but Mastrantonio did it better. Way better. Though don't go knocking Cate. She did what she could with what she had, which wasn't much.
Sir Godfrey played by Mark Strong vs Sheriff George of Nottingham played by Alan Rickman.
Who can compete with Alan Rickman and great lines like, “Cancel the kitchen scraps for the lepers and the orphans, no more merciful beheadings, and call off Christmas!”
I wish I had those two hours back. Was this remake a recession decision? Did Hollywood execs sit around a conference room on the Avenue of the Stars or by a pool in Bel Air and think, "What will people go to see anyway just to see?" Robin Hood, of course. We will throw in two fantastic actors and a brilliant director. The story is weak but they'll only figure that out after they pay.
Not cool, Hollywood. Not cool.
A palette cleanser to undo the bad taste of the new Robin Hood: