Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Day 330: A bitter cold poem for December

A dreary day. Perfect for my poetic nastiness.
"Have you ever become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's box of all the hateful things... your spite, your arrogance, your condescension has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and walking away... you zing them. 'Hello it's Mr Nasty.'" -- Joe Fox, You've Got Mail

This quote reminds me of this poem I wrote awhile ago when I was super annoyed with someone. I know. Shocker. Someone made assumptions that were just so basic and wrong but they believe them so strongly. Then I felt put in a corner, which made me feel like scratching their face off. Not my most shining moment. Because I didn't scratch their face off.

I think we've all been there. Caught in a bitter stew of projection, history, confusion and just plain ol' venom. Anyway, that's where I was coming from when I wrote this.

You don't know me

You don't know me
You have pieced together a story
Out of all the stories I've told
You latched onto a tale or two
And fill in the rest

You don't know me
Perhaps I'm to blame
I didn't know full disclosure was required
I shared fragile little bird tales
But failed to mention how they made me soar

If you knew me
You'd know that my childhood
Though influential to a point
Had an expiration date that was met
A long time ago

If you knew me
You'd know that I'm currently wondering
Why I'm friends with you
You who uses intellect
Not instinct

You who judges and defines
Who puts baby in a corner
If you knew me
You'd know
I'm nothing like you

After writing this poem, I was spent and wanted only to lay in Rumi's field where none of this matters. Where nothing was right or wrong. In that field, I would be immune to sweeping generalizations, evaluations and judgments. Where I wouldn't despise. Where the place where this poem came from was a vague memory of a dream I once had.
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I'll meet you there." -- Rumi



3 comments:

  1. That was elegant and touching. But I, for one, am still waiting for you to use "clusterfuck" in another poem.

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  2. "Sweeping generalizations, evaluations and judgments" are some of my most hated things in the world. Who is this Rumi and where is his field? I'd like to go there and meet him.

    Thanks for sharing one of your dark moments. They're the hardest to share. xx

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  3. Just came across this. First of all I want to read all of your poems. And then meet you in Rumi's field. BTW I am stealing this for my quote of the day. I don't think Rumi will mind. Hope you don't either.

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