Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Shrimp: Vile

I'd eat these if I knew what they were. 
I wouldn't call myself a picky eater.

Others would beg to differ.

In 2010, I did the vegan thing, which immediately puts one into the Picky Eater category... or in LA, it just makes you normal. These days, I'd call myself mostly vegan, which makes me only mostly a picky eater.

I was recently asked if I would be vegan when I soon start travels. (Ooh the anticipation is building!!!)

The short answer is "No. Yes. No. Yes. I don't know."

Then I was asked why I was vegan in the first place, especially if I'm willing to be willy nilly about it on the road. Where are my principles? My ethics? My beliefs?

All good questions.

Here's a run down of what I eat and why.

Beef: No. Carbon footprint is too high.

Chicken: No. Repulsive factory farming. The chicken are actually dipped in feces-filled water to be "cleaned." Oh gawd no.

Pork: No. This animal is so intelligent that I suspect it senses when it's about to be slaughtered. With all that fear running through it's system, I could be ingested it into my system when I eat it, which isn't cool no matter how good bacon tastes. Mmmm bacon.

Rabbit: No. Once my dad was driving my sister and I to work in the morning. There was a huge jackrabbit standing in the middle of the road. Dad stopped the truck. We thought it was nice of him to let the rabbit cross the road unharmed. Wrong. He reached for his shotgun.

Goose: No. Once there was a beautiful snow goose hanging out in our backyard. We made the mistake of telling our dad.

Shrimp: Vile.

Lobster: No. They mate for life. I feel like I'm eating a widowers spouse.

Crab: In a California roll? Yes. But if I've got to crack open legs and have crab juice squirt out all over my face and fancy dress. Absolutely not. No frigging way.

Salmon: No. Tastes too much like salmon.

White fish: Ya, white fish is okay. But I went snorkeling once and had a spiritual connection with a fish that I can't get out of my mind... unless there is a lot of butter involved.

Salami: Not after my nauseating bus trip up the Amalfi coast.

Peppers: Nope. Make me burpy. As do raw onions and garlic. And green apples. And sometimes cucumbers.

Eggplant: Blech. Mushy. Vile. No.

Watermelon: No. Tragically, I'm allergic. If I eat even one little bite, my body goes into a panic frenzy. My mouth gets itchy, my throat gets angry and my stomach feels like I ate a handful of mini-putt pencils. More on this particular allergy, courtesy of the Livestrong foundation.

Other than that? I'll eat pretty much anything. Me? A picky eater? No way.

Will I eat some of these food items on the road so I can partake in the culinary delights of the regions I visit?

Yes. No. Yes. No. I don't know.

4 comments:

  1. And peas. Green peas from the can. No. Absolutely not.

    ReplyDelete
  2. When I raise my own chickens, they will be free range, happy and mawled with love. And the best part is that their "waste" will provide THE BEST compost for my garden, so that I can have fresh, garden peas too!! Its an expensive grocery trip for you...but when you are ready to venture away from vegan living, venture over to my "farm" for a fresh, happy chicken breast! (and I will throw in the peas for free!!). :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Amen on the eggplant. I'm not a fan.

    Now, do you think you'll be able to figure out what is in whatever you're eating when you're traveling? When I was in Greece, there were several dishes where it was sort of anyone's guess. I hope you don't accidentally eat a bunny or a vile shrimp while you're abroad.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Garlic turns my stomach into painful knots. I didn't get to eat a lot of Indian food in India, but the vegetarian fare at Ghandhi University in Ahmedabad was delicious. Good luck on your culinary and literary expedition!

    ReplyDelete

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