Versailles Schmersailles

Everyone who has been to Paris tells you to go to Versailles.

They don't tell you why.

"Just go," they say.

So I went. And let me tell you what they won't tell you:

IT'S BIG AND KINDA BORING.

The place is huge so you need to wear good shoes. I was even wearing good shoes but they were NO MATCH for Versailles.

For a background, Versailles is where a bunch of the Kings of the Louis variety lived until merde went down during the French Revolution. Now it's a tourist attraction. The palace is ornate as all get out... to the point of ridiculous. I mean, do you need a red room, yellow room, blue room, green room and teal room? Not to mention a salon for the moon, Mars, the sun, Jupiter and Saturn? Non.

But hey, when you're a king and into being fancy, maybe this stuff is up your alley. I dunno.

The palace is on grounds that are so big that one should rent a bike or bus because to trek on foot (which I did) is just bad planning.

But Versailles is not so bad. The Hall of Mirrors was rad (see below) as was my new friend Aram, a student from Korea, who was as lost as I was on the ginormous grounds.

But in the end, if you come to Paris, you should see Versailles. It's true. Just make sure you wear good shoes.

Just your average ceiling at Versailles. No biggie. Geezus.

Seen one throne, seen them all.

I have angels holding up my chandeliers. Doesn't everyone?

Someone liked flowers.

I thought this was it. Then I turned around and saw acres of gardens. ACRES.

"Hey honey, let's hang out in the yellow room tonight."

"Nah, I'm feeling for the red room."

Getting over it.

This was after I met Aram and became completely amused by her equal lack of enthusiasm for Versailles.

So we decided to amuse each other. We were lost anyway.

We came across this village created for Marie Antoinette and her musing.

Complete with thatched roofs and gardeners.

And it's all not real. It's like Disney. Amazing.

The farm animals are real.

I wonder what these cows did in a past life to get this sweet gig.

After the grounds, I gave the palace another gander. It was just as ridiculously ornate as the first time around.

The Hall of Mirrors is quite lovely. It's right outside Louis' bedroom.

But never again. I will never go to Versailles again.